We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
