My first STD was from a foam party
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
