Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
