i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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