You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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