I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
