He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
