that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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