Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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