make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
