Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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