Are we in a gay sports bar?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Terrible idea I love it
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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