I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
