I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He has the fingertips of a God
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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