the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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