I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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