He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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