I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
