Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
