it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
