The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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