Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
