I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
