Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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