apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
being pregnant is like rehab
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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