just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
