You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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