You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
