Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
