We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
