You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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