I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We don't watch enough power rangers
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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