Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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