it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
