please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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