Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
