shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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