Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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