and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
