Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Randomize
