I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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