i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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