she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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