I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Randomize
