I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
