I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
