i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
