At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
did i just pee glitter
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