i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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