Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
